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名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第二篇(2)

2015-05-21 20:05:28来源:网络

  新东方在线为大家整理了名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第二篇的相关内容,供考生们参考,以下是详细内容。

  第一个主体段:

  Move from one country to another country can be more happier and successful.

  Topic sentence基本概括了这个段落的主要内容,能够起到总起下文的作用。

  It is a true story happened 20 years ago. He was a Mexican and he moved to US when he was a teenager. Everyone in his family have an American Dream. They hoped to be wealthy, no war and improved their living standard. At first, he was a Mexican but not an American. He didn’t have US passport and he loved football. He want to be a football player. He practices everyday and works in the restaurant every mid night in order to earn some money for his family to buy a car and buy football.

  这部分在讲一个墨西哥人为了梦想和更好的生活来到美国,靠辛苦努力追求美国梦的过程。

  At last, the coach of an England football team came to the city he lived in. The coach wanted him play the football and took him to England. He tried his best in practices and games. In the end, he become a famous football star all around England.这部分讲他的第二次movement,也正是这次从美国到英国使他把握住机会,功成名就。

  He is lucky because he leaved Mexico and come to U.S. in this way, he has a chance to entre the England football team and became a famous football player. The movement made him famous, successful and happier.

  最近对整个段落进行总结,总结的部分很好,把move和happy之间的联系突出出来:两次进入新的环境给了他成功的机会和可能。

  主体段的结构完整,而且思路比较清晰,按照时间顺序描述了主人公从墨西哥到美国再到英国,实现梦想和快乐的过程。

  以上就是新东方在线为大家总结的名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第二篇的相关内容,希望对大家有所帮助,最后预祝大家在SAT考试中取得优异的成绩!

  ---本文节选自新东方在线论坛


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