SAT写作6/5/6实例优缺点解析

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来源：新东方

　　原文来自于OG6。

　　考场原文

　　The article “The Lovely Stones”, adapted from Christopher Hitchens, builds an argument that original Parthenon sculptures should be returned to Greece. The author employs diction, rhetorical question and concession through the passage to add its persuasion.

　　By ruminating and selecting the words, Christopher Hitchens makes the readers passively lament Parthenon’s fate. In the second paragraph, the author utilizes “abused”, “perverted” and “mutilated”, which are usually used to describe the misfortune of people, to provide readers the idea of the mistreatments that Parthenon has undergone. This successfully raises the readers’ empathy since they are human-beings, and these verbs can hit them deeply instead of virtually presenting the facts. The readers will then advocate protecting the temple and providing a better place for it to be remained. In the later paragraphs the author presents the reasons why Greece is the right place for Parthenon, these make the argument, returning Parthenon sculpture, reasonable and convincing.

　　Also, the author employs rhetorical question in the forth paragraph. He uses an analogy, pretending the well-known painting Mona Lisa is sawed and separated, to induce readers to feel grief and angry, so that the following rhetorical question can let them start to consider the benefit of reuniting these fragments, as well as returning the temple to Greece, which logically links back to the main idea of the passage. Pathos is adopted in this case since rhetorical questions are usually not straight award, and readers’ thinking are leaded to the author’s claim whereas readers may not even realized. This ultimately makes the passages more cogent.

　　In the next paragraph, author chooses concession to let his claim more compelling. The concession is about the change of the abilities of protecting the temple. At the beginning the author mentions that Parthenon was eroded by the “acid rain”; however, now the situation is that the endangered marbles are removed and careful clean is given, using ultraviolet and infra-red lasers, and also the climate-controlled interior is prepared, meaning Greece does can take the responsibility of maintaining. Readers will consider author a rational person since concession is used and this makes main claim supportive, which is returning Parthenon sculptures to Greece.

　　In the article, the author adopted diction, rhetorical question and concession to persuade audience that Parthenon sculptures should be returned to Greece.

　　Reading：

　　1)对文章整体的理解基本准确。

　　2)对主旨和重要手法、细节的理解比较到位，且能一定程度地结合上下文，如He uses an analogy, pretending the well-known painting Mona Lisa is sawed and separated, to induce readers to feel grief and angry, so that the following rhetorical question can let them start to consider the benefit of reuniting these fragments, as well as returning the temple to Greece, which logically links back to the main idea of the passage.

　　3)能对重要内容进行引用、改写及总结，如“abused”, “perverted” and “mutilated”.

　　冲刺建议

　　1)仍未做到透彻、全面理解，如meaning Greece does can take the responsibility of maintaining.考生选择的是文章部分内容，分析出的是表层信息，如能结合英国政府的行为会更好。从这一点发散而来，如考生能阐述清楚不同段落之间，最重要细节与中心观点之间的关系会更好，即细节如何有效支撑主旨。

　　2)引用技巧偶尔不够恰当，主要体现在主体段第二段rhetorical question的引用。

　　Analysis:

　　1)能进行基础、比较有效的分析，挖掘手法在文中的具体作用，并将文本内容与主旨联系，如which are usually used to describe the misfortune of people, to provide readers the idea of the mistreatments that Parthenon has undergone.和these make the argument, returning Parthenon sculpture, reasonable and convincing .

　　2)能从逻辑类和语言类手法出发，根据其特点分别发散、分析，并且选择的皆为重要手法，如selecting the words; rhetorical question; concession.

　　冲刺建议

　　1)全面、深入分析不足，如果分析时逻辑链更完整、多拓展细节，分析会更有力，如This ultimately makes the passages more cogent.若能加强逻辑，分析出增强主旨可信度的具体原因(this question ultimately makes readers realize the necessity of returning the sculptures to Greece, rendering the author’s argument more cogent.)分析得分会更高。

　　2)对于作者如何有效地说服了读者，阐述得还不够清楚，如Readers will consider author a rational person since striking concession is used ，太过套路化，若能说清作者通过让步表现出希腊政府前后的反差，读者会更愿意相信作者和主旨。

　　3)部分内容的分析没有紧密回应分析任务，导致分析不够透彻。

　　Writing:

　　1)写作中使用了一些简单词表示连接、过渡关系，衔接比较自然，如Also, let his claim more compelling. 如能使用句子过渡更佳。

　　2)开头段和结尾段的表达有效，包含了基本要素。

　　3)能用到从句等多样的句式表达，用词比较准确，语法整体比较规范。

　　冲刺建议

　　1)对一些关键信息的阐述比较模糊。

　　2)开头段的亮点不够。

　　3)仍存在部分语法问题。

　　4)主旨改写不够，注意不能照抄考题中的主旨句。

　　对文章的解析到此结束，相信看完这篇分析的你一定能从这位“前辈”身上吸取教训，也希望你能把经验用到自己的写作中哦!另外，文末将给出本篇文章的范文，练习完一定要认真参考、总结哦!如果还有问题，欢迎联系苏州新东方，获取更多SAT考试和课程信息。

　　OG6范文

　　In the article “The Lovely Stone”, the author Christopher Hitchens establishes an impression and vivid argument to persuade the audience that the British government should return Parthenon sculptures to Greece. As an excellent writer, Hitchens employs several literacy devices, such as historic facts and comparison, and utilizes strong words to enhance and add emotion to this argument. In the end, readers will found themselves being persuaded by the authors unintentionally.

　　In paragraph 2, the author employs Turkish forces and Nazi flag to illustrate the damage Parthenon has endured, which is correlated to the first sentence of this paragraph “Not that the beauty and … mutilated.” By employing these two true historical facts, the author cannot only enhance the credibility of this article by stating the well-known catastrophic history, but can also tug at the heartstrings of the audience for imagining the disaster Parthenon faced before, which can subtly and potentially stimulate the audience’s attention toward the preservation of Parthenon. In addition, the historical disasters Parthenon endured can provide a smooth transition to the facts in the next paragraph, which logically correlate to the second sentence of paragraph 3 “But there is one … be partially undone”. Therefore, this kind of connection between conclusion and examples, paragraph between paragraphs can enhance the logical cohesion in the article, which will make the context more cohesive, and help the readers to understand the discourse easier.

　　Not confined by some historical evidence, another noticeable device the author employs is the comparison in paragraph 4. The author subtly and vividly compares Mona Lisa to sculpture pieces in Parthenon. Mona Lisa, an undeniable famous and beautiful painting, has some similar connection with Parthenon’s sculptures, that is, both of them endured the war. By using such a famous example to make comparison, the author can efficiently establish a strong argument and can allow the audience to face the sense of discomfort and desire when seeing them separated. Thus, with the foundation of emotion, when the author asks the rhetorical question below “Would there not be a general wish …. Re-united?”, the question can stronger stimulate readers’ emotion by forcing them to think and feel by themselves. Therefore, by using comparison between Mona Lisa and sculptures in Parthenon, the author can arouse readers’ attention toward the separated parts of sculptures and the purpose of this article is achieved.

　　Apart from evidence and comparison, the words the author utilizes are quite sophisticated. By using “perverted”, “mutilated”, “detonated”, “inflicted” and “horrible” in paragraph 2, the author can build a strong emotional level for this hatred toward the damage the one of the most beautiful artwork endured and this can allow the audience to feel in the same way. Moreover, using the word “absolutely right” at the end can not only build strong logical cohesion by restating the word, but also appeal to readers’ sympathy towards the antiques and render them realize and cherish the undeniable beauty of Parthenon sculptures, thus can stimulate and further the argument that these sculptures should be returned to Greece.

　　In a nutshell, Hitchens employs literacy devices historic facts and comparison and uses subtle and advanced words to enhance the logic which appeal to the emotion of the audience. Therefore, the argument of returning original Parthenon sculptures to Greek people could be more persuasive, impressive, logical and convincing.

　　以上就为大家整理的“SAT写作6/5/6实例优缺点解析”，更多精彩内容，请关注新东方在线SAT频道。

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