SAT写作范文解析:Let There Be Dark

2017-04-13 09:18:00来源：新东方在线整理

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　　分析：这篇文章的主体是我们应该保护黑暗。(We are losing the nature of darkness, andwe should keep darkness.)

　　主要写作手法如下：

　　这篇文章我们可以逐个段落进行写作手法分析。

　　第一段：使用童年的经历和数据阐述我们失去黑暗的事实。

　　第二段：对照我们使用人造灯光的行为和失去自然的结果。

　　第三段：用WHO 和 AMA权威国际组织的态度说明光污染对我们的害处。

　　第四段：用动物的例子说明失去黑暗将失去生态平衡。

　　第五段：使用修饰性问句和引用梵高(引用经典)说明黑暗的价值。

　　第六段：举例说明失去黑暗的情况，并使用过去和现在对比说明黑暗的重要性。

　　美国大学理事会对于这篇原文给出了官方范文。官方范文写了5段，一个开头段，一个结尾段，中间三个段。开头段是论点和手法的总结，结尾也是呼应开头，对全文手法和观点再次总结。中间的三个段落分别论述了作者的三个手法，第一段论述原文第一段，作者利用个人经历唤起读者对保护黑暗(darkness)的共鸣;第二段论述原文第五段使用的引用瓦高(allusion toVogh)和原文第六段使用的巴黎灯光情况的对比，唤起读者想象黑夜中自然的天空;第三段论述原文使用修辞性问句(rhetoricalquestion)，进一步唤起读者要保护黑暗和唤起同情(appeal toPathos)

　　下面是一篇学生的习作，我们可以从中体会学生写作值得改进的地方

　　“Let There Be Dark” is an article by Paul Bogard. Heexcavates unique and precious value within darkness, which is demolishing,according to the author, due to the abuses of illumination made by humanbeings. Vivid language,appealing examples and smooth logic are adapted by Paul, this perfectcombination sincerely prompts people to care about the daily uses of light.The structure in the article is quite reasonable andstable, in which each point(不具体) occupiesa relative even portion. Taking an overall analysis of this passage, aconclusion can be easily drawn that it consists majorly of two parts:scientific facts and figures, equally important, personal examples andnarrations. Four paragraphs serve for facts and statics, while three othersections narrate the personal view of author himself. What is a strong factthat cannot be neglected is that their order is intersection, not monotonousaccumulation. (不具体)This perfect coordination makes thisarticle persuasive, impressive and rational. It is neither a subjective andradical criticism nor a simple fact collector. (感觉好像几个形容词的罗列) Readers will never feel dull aboutsuch diversified article. What is more, they will absolutely find it reasonable.最后一句没有扣主题，并且开头和过程中都没有具体谈到主题。

　　Without the help of vivid words and sentences, thisarticle would not be so brilliant. Every time when the author wants to bringhis readers into his touching sentiments in most sincere tone, he would usewords such as “smoky” ”sugary” in the first paragraph. Those vivid and analogical words lure us toimagine the wonderful scenery of darkness, and we can see smoke flying in thesky with ease, we can taste sugar as long as we want to. But hardly dosome modern people in metropolises witness “meteors with smoky trails acrosssugary spreads of stars”. Readers’ imaginations are aroused and utilized to themax degree. In fifth paragraph, the words ”solitude” ”invaluable” “soulful” depicts a quiet paradisefor sophists and thinkers. With sparse but accurate words and sentences,special and charming characteristics of darkness, subsequently, theappreciation of darkness will evolve from an abstract overview to further anddeeper comprehension. (全段仍然不够具体，感觉不到论证)

　　Anecdotes are always interesting and catch people’seyes. Adequate Personal experiences adds elements of reality into the wholearticle. At the beginning of the article, author recalls his remote childhoodspent “in the cabin on a Minnesota lake”. Then he adds subtle but effectivedetail into it:”I knew woods so dark that my hands disappeared before my eyes.”little stories and experiences used by author can cause great resonances amongreaders. And readers will recall their personal experiences, the storiesassociate them and darkness. Therefore, it is somehow relevant to all people. (这段只是叙述了故事，并没有论证。)

　　In the article”Let There Be Dark”, the author usesdiverse and sophisticated skills and creative combinations to illustrate theimportance of darkness and convinces readers to appreciate as well as topreserve darkness.

　　总体感觉，语言基础不错，语法错误很少，也使用了好的词汇，但论证不够有力，并且不能结合原文论证主题。

　　我想大部分刚开始学习分析性写作的同学们可能还没有能够掌握分析性写作的要求，这里强调的是分析和在论证中体现分析。

　　以上就是新东方在线SAT频道为你带来的SAT写作范文解析:Let There Be Dark，更多精彩敬请关注新东方在线SAT频道。

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